Monday, September 13, 2010

First day of Pre-school

Today was the first day of pre-school for my daughter. She's been excited for this ever since we moved to Columbus two weeks ago. Up to this point, her daycare has either been her mother,when she wasn't substituting, me while I'm working, or a visit to my mother's house to spend the day with her and my niece.

I have no fear that Bronwyn will adjust well to school. Even though some would view her upbringing to this point and conclude that she's not been socialized, she reacts very well in group settings and is very friendly and outgoing (I suspect it's due to her Sagittarius personality).

While Bronwyn will be fine, I'm not so well this morning. I know this was inevitable, she was getting to the point where she needed to start meeting other people and begin to play more with friends around her age. She's outgrown home care, especially when she has less area to do things in or play. Even though it's been inevitable, I can't say that makes it any better. She won't be here during the day anymore, even when I wasn't working I could swing down during a lunch break and say hello or I could expect her to come barreling into my office at least once in awhile to ask me a question (having escaped from her mother for a period of time on those days).

Words can't explain how much I'm going to miss her. I know she'll be home during the summer, but I know this is just another step to her growing up, and unfortunately one that's more pronounced. She's going to continue getting farther away not closer. Not really a surprise, but always difficult when you have to face it.

I will be looking forward to hearing about how her day goes and all of her experiences. I'll know I'll get a great deal of pride seeing her navigate through these new adventures. Unfortunately, that doesn't fully counteract the terror I feel in having to let her move into these experiences that I have little control/influence over.

For some people, they miss the baby stage, I was never a fan of it, I've always looked forward to that 3 and 4 year old stage, where you are still the center of their world. It's a time when they aren't adverse to holding your hand their personality really starts to shine.

I guess I shouldn't be too sad, as I walked her to the donut store on Sunday, she did tell me that even when she gets older, she'll always hold my hand. (thankfully I had sunglasses on at the time, hard to explain the tears, for that matter a good thing I was able to get out of daycare quickly today too for the same reason)

Her world is growing today and as much as I want to, I can't stop it (nor would I if I could), I just hope I've gotten her ready for it.

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