I tend to look for the silver lining anytime I can. There's something refreshing about staying positive, although it's not always easy to do so. We've been in full operation mode now for about a week on getting details together for the move to Columbus.
The silver lining in all of this, is I don't have to think as much as I usually would do about how different life is going to be for me or the fact that my daughter's about to take the first major step away from being our little girl.
Bronwyn's getting enrolled in pre-school after we get to Columbus. It's the right time for her to begin getting acquainted with the social aspect of school and the daily regiment of organized classes. It's also no longer practical for her to stay with me as I work from home, it worked nicely for a while, when we didn't have a baby sitter and the wife was called in for subbing, but on a daily basis, it's not the best situation for Bronwyn or me.
I view it as the first step in a progression I can't stop, i.e Dad and Mom becoming secondary in her life. I've relished the opportunity to be front and center for her and have received the affection back 100 fold. So it's not easy to give it up. Even on days that I'm working and she was home with Mom, I knew I could peak out of the office and say hello, or find her busting open my office door to tell me what's on her mind. I've known this time was coming regardless of what I do, but it doesn't make the reality any easier to face.
As I think about it, I realize that as she breaks free from home, her relationships outside of this household are going to blossom and while I'll always have a special place, it won't be the same (nor should it be).
As you can see staying busy has helped me 'forget' about this for a bit, but it's never really far from my thoughts, the other distractions just allow me to ignore "repress" it a bit more for the meantime.
I'm truly thankful though, that I've had the opportunity to be around her day in and day out. Even though I have periods where I have to travel, when I think about what my parents had to endure with commuting to work and the hours they work, I'm amazed they fit the time in they had for us. Working from home offers its frustrations on some days, but for the first four years of her life, it's been a very fair trade.
11 months ago