It's Wednesday and this week has seemed to drag on and on. It doesn't help that we continue to be extremely busy at work, which of course is a good thing, but on top of that I've been trying to line up my work for those covering for me while I'm out of the office next week. If there's one thing I have learned, it's that I work messy, even virtually. I'm not at my best unless I'm literally juggling 15 things in the air, all in different states of play. While this seems to work for me it's definitely not something that's easy to transition to someone else. Which means I inevitably wind up taking extra time to clean up my work in order to turn it over.
It will be nice to get out of the home office for a week, I can't tell you how much like prison it seems like at times. Yes, working from home is nice and has a ton of benefits, but it also messes with your head a bit, as you tend to be constantly working because you can. Getting out of the office is one of the few things that breaks that pattern.
I absolutely hate my last blog post "On being great". I'm tempted to take it down and delete it. The feeling is a bit overwhelming on doing that. However, I'm not going to do it. I'm starting to understand the 'blog' more or at least what I want from it. It's my outlet, a new way of expression. It's not for publishing or notoriety, it's simply a type of public journal that I can use to track progress, vent, brag, or pontificate with. I also want it to reflect me, which means it has to be a collection of messy, insightful, dumb, brilliant, humorous, sloppy, irrelevant pieces because ultimately that's what I am.
So why do I hate that last blog entry, here's some of the reasons:
1. I never got on track in writing it, as usual I wanted to go 10 different directions with it and I know without even reading it, that it suffered do to this fact.
2. Getting sidetracked by different angles ultimately leaves me without a way to tie it up at the end. I decided to tie it up after about 90 minutes of writing and thinking time, it was late Sunday and I just didn't want to see it anymore. Which adds a level to the sloppiness.
3. Grammatically it's probably a mess. Have I mentioned before that I know a ton of my stuff is messy grammatically. This one was likely worse as when I don't have a direction, I sometimes attempt to go back to the middle of the document and insert, often times missing how that insertion flows for the document. That's what I get for writing while thinking though.
4. Not thrilled with the title or the finish. Both can easily give the wrong perception of me, and I think I did a poor job of communicating how 'subjective' the word is.
Enough of the self critique though. It's staying and withing 4-5 more posts, I won't even remember it anyway. (And then next year, when my mushy mind is typing up the same stuff, we'll do this all over again).
I'm off to put the finishing touches on my packing.
9 months ago