This has been a very weird week, I'm not exactly sure on the reason, but I feel completely out of sync and out of sorts. The problem is that I don't know exactly why , I'm not sick, have been sleeping fairly well, I'm no longer overwhelmed at work and I don't have any pressing, immediate issues that need to be resolved. I'll chalk it up to the sun's alignment or some other funky reason.
Hopefully I hit the apex of out of sync last night at practice. The short version "I stunk". The longer version is I couldn't get out of my nasal voice, I was missing marks in the songs, my timing was off, my breathing was all screwed up and with all of that, I continued pushing on the voice and could hear it starting to go, so we called it a night.
I cannot begin to express my frustration on this, if this was my audition, they'd have laughed me off the stage. And it's the first time I've ever run into a situation like this, where I was not able to bring things around and at least be decent.
There are a couple factors at play, one I didn't look over songs for the week, I mistakenly thought giving myself a mental break would be beneficial and it just exasperated the problem. Also from trying to lay down recordings the past couple weeks we were a bit rough in our timings overall and although I've come a long way since the beginning, I'm not quite able to just kick it into gear on songs I'm not as familiar with. The other aspect is my friggin house is drier then shit, which wrecks all sort of havoc on my voice, I had previously been using a vaporizer in my office to get some moisture in the air, but with Laurie working the last week and me watching the little one and by default working downstairs I haven't been able to use it, coupled with the heat being on which takes the little moisture in my house and sucks it up like a shamwow, it leaves the voice pretty harsh and out of shape.
I haven't mentioned that I was finally starting to feel like the strength of my voice was getting stronger and that I could sort of relax instead of extending for some singing, which seemed to go out the window last night. I truly hate being so wrong about something and I'm going to have to reevaluate things, take a couple steps back from a confidence level and aim for a good practice next week.
Last night was really just the culmination of out of sync though, even during work this week, I've just felt like I was one step behind or all over the place for managing things. Hopefully I'll make it through the week, get this behind me and start hitting a groove again.
Til next time.
11 months ago