Monday, September 14, 2009

The first to draw my ire (this week)

That's him, the first victim of my ire this week as I withdraw from smoking. Seems harmless enough doesn't he? However behind that playful demeanor is a vindictive little dog.

Let me give you some background on Edgar, our pug. He's now 6 years old and we've had him all except one month of his life. We got him one month after moving into our house. He was tiny and cute then, he's grown since to a rather hefty 25lbs, which for a pug really isn't that bad.

He snores, he likes to sleep constantly, and he might be the weirdest dog I've ever known. He's horrible at playing, as tug of war and fetch just don't interest him. Fetch lasts for about 2 throws before he gets bored, and tug of war, he just gives up. He's never really chewed on anything besides furniture, I think this picture was one of the few times that he's ever really gotten mischievous. He doesn't like to be petted, he licks your ears when you come home, and he sleeps on the top of our couch like he's a cat. He hates rain, so much so that he will stop from going outside right at the door if it's raining out.

In addition to being weird, I don't think he's very bright. I don't say this to be mean, he just doesn't seem to be the brightest dog. The reason I say that is based on his attitude, I was a bit spoiled with my golden retriever Casey, who I consider the all time best dog in the world, so it's understandable that Edgar had some big shoes to fill. Casey when she was upset about something would playfully do something to get your attention. Edgar is vindictive and decides to 'truly' get revenge.

How you might ask, by peeing on things. As a small puppy, Edgar used to come upstairs when Laurie got ready for work and wait to be picked up by me and put in bed. One morning when I didn't feel like listening to his snoring in bed, I rolled over and went back to sleep. He whined for a bit turned around, ran downstairs and proceeded to pee on my leather coat that was hanging on a chair.

He's like a guided missile with it. It would be easy to think he's just not house trained and decided to go whenever he felt like it, if it wasn't for the fact of all the things he has decided to pee on over the last 5 years. Mad at Laurie, he seeks out her blanket specifically. Mad at me, it's my coat or my large pillow that I lay around the living room with. The worst part is, it's usually when you least expect it.

So today, I decided to head to the gym during lunch, grabbing the bag I had packed up a while ago, that had a towel, and a book, and my earphones. I was able to dress for the gym at home and threw in a change of clothes. Get to the gym and get to the machine to start the workout with my towel, as I realize that my wonderfully eagle little pug had decided at some point over the last month to piss on my damn bag, thereby getting the towel in the process. Crap, there goes that, luckily there wasn't any harm beyond an almost disgusting scenario of wiping off with said towel. Quickly returning it to the locker and finishing an abbreviated workout and I returned home and threw the whole damn bag in the washer.

There wasn't even much to say to the little shit, as he likely did it sometime over the last 2-3 weeks and wouldn't remember it anyway (sigh). I do feel pretty good though in that I didn't kill him, or dunk his water-avoiding butt in the pool.

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