Friday, August 7, 2009

Life it's bigger then you and you are not me

That's how I'm feeling a bit today and for the last couple months actually. I'm still on hiatus from Friday thoughts for the moment. (Just not enough interesting ones to make a list).

It's one thing to talk about the dog days of summer, the period of time during the summer season, when perhaps you are a bit tired of the heat, or just exhausted from the ungodly amount of things we seem to wind up doing during the summer. Living in a Northeastern climate, I swear we fit in 3/4 of our lives socializing and doing things during the summer months and essentially hibernate from those types of things through the rest of the year.

I reference the 'dog days of summer' as it seems like I'm watching it unfold for so many people I know in respect to their lives too. Is 35 to 39 age the dog days of life? Is it at that point, where you finally realize you can actually become a bit exhausted with things you do?

As it happens to be though in this case, I'm not talking about myself. It's not that some of those same things aren't affecting me, but my reflection on it is related to some of my friends this week rather then introspective.

Two of my friends are having marital issues. One's just found out recently that his is over, his wife told him she no longer wants to try and that she's done. The other one is still married, but the way he puts it the marriage is over, they are just unable to do anything about it at the moment (financially, or due to the little one).

For both of my friends these decisions seem to have been brought on by their wives rather then either of them. As anyone who's been through divorce or long term breakups can attest it's not an easy thing.

I know it has to be painful for both of them, but I can't help being a bit curious and interested in how things are playing out. Part of that is due to the fact that no one close to me has been divorced before. Yes I do know people that have gotten divorced, but some were casual friends and some weren't as close due to time and location. These are the first friends that I'm very close with that are ending their marriages (or close to doing so).

A big part of that (for lack of a better term) fascination is seeing how things have played out with their marriages, knowing their personality types, problems it was likely to cause, the women they decided to marry, and how life and time affect it all. It's the type of insight no one hopes for, at the same time when you are presented with it you might as well learn something from it.

I'm losing my train of thought on what I wanted this post to be about though, I guess that's the problem when you try to discuss something on an open forum that you still want to respect their privacy.

It just seems like divorce is everywhere around me lately. I found out the other day another cousin of mine was getting a divorce (wife caught cheating). I've been hanging out with another cousin who's wife left him a year or two ago and we've been discussing that during some of our nights out (Might be one of the worst instances I've ever heard of). I have another close friend that while maybe not on the brink of divorce seems to have had problems since one month into marriage. There doesn't seem to be a week that goes by that I don't hear through the grapevine of someone having got a divorce that I might have known or having extreme problems.

I guess I just never considered that I'd experience a period in life like this. Don't get me wrong I never expected none of my friends to get a divorce, in many cases I definitely expected there to be some/many/whatever. I'm just a bit surprised on how it's playing out I guess.

I will say this, although I do understand that when people get married it's easy to lose touch with people you know through circumstance, as there are time constraints that we all experience as we grow older. I am seeing that old friendships are fairly easy to fall back on in times of need, which is really a wonderful thing when you think about it.

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on this eventually and hopefully they'll be a bit more coherent as a post. But for now I think that's all I have to say on the matter.

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