I can say that I'm in a better state of mind then when I first confronted the issue. When I first started to focus on the issue, I wasn't in an emotional/mental place that was conducive to resolving the issue. That means that whatever decision comes from this, I'm confident that I'm capable of taking all factors into account and not getting hung up on menial aspects of the situation.
Ok, enough of that though, some other things from the weekend. I took the daughter shopping on Saturday. We went out to the Great Northern mall, and while it's not as bad as Parmatown with store closings, there are more then I expected to see there. There wasn't any real goal of the trip other then to go out and look at some clothes and footwear and maybe get some ideas for Christmas and Birthday gifts for the upcoming months.
Now you may wonder why I'm looking for Christmas and Birthday gifts for the daughter nearly 3 months early, well it helps me get an idea of what I want to spend this year and what she really wants. If I went strictly by TV commercials, I'd just have to buy anything that comes out with Barbie, Tinkerbell or Spongebob. It also helps me keep an eye on the sales ads and sometimes find some deals on the stuff she does want. The big focus right now is on a toddler bike, I'm hoping since it's the end of summer, I might find a deal on one. Even three months away I'm incredibly excited about seeing her reaction to getting a bike for Christmas.
The footwear and clothes search serves two purposes. The first is as I've stated before, I'm ridiculously particular about the types of clothes I choose. In addition to being picky, I hate spending money on clothes. By going out regularly and looking at things, it enables me to find stuff on sale or to get ideas of where I want to shop for clothes, when I oil the wallet up and decide to spend some dollars on threads.
The reason for my clothes search is related to singing. I need to find some clothes to wear for singing. The reason is if I put myself up there in front of a crowd with the goal of entertaining them, I need to be entertaining. In order to do that, I need to be comfortable and I need to foster my outgoing personality traits. While I can talk the ear off to those close to me, I can also be shy or introverted around those I don't know, it's a defense mechanism as I'm observing reactions and words of the people I'm unfamiliar with in order to gauge my interactions with them. While others do this too, I likely am a bit overboard in how I handle meeting new people, to the point, that people think I'm mean, cocky, elitist, or even in some respects 'slow' until they get to know me. Which is why I need to foster my outgoing traits and create a persona for the performances. And that means clothes, something that strikes the right chord that I can be comfortable in. Something with a little style but yet doesn't look like I'm trying to hard to be hip and young. I also want to give the impression that I thought about my outfit before throwing it on in the morning.
I know that many guys would find this line of thinking completely insane and there is a part of me that agrees with them, but in actuality it's kind of fun. I started at Macy's and was surprised that I was able to find some choices outside of the typical men's section which is racks of khaki pants and polo shirts, I know deep down this trend is due to a woman marketing manager who's determined to casually cloth every man in that style (well not really but it sounds good).
My actual theory on why department store's have the types of clothes they have: guys tend to not care about there clothes as an average, and so the department stores have 30 different colored polo shirts in their men's section along with 3 shades of khaki colored pants, so the women shopping for their man can say, "well he wore a polo shirt once and I like this color, so I'll get it for him and I'll throw away that
I digress though, which I seem prone to do today in this post. I was able to find some ideas for shirts and pants, but what I really wanted to talk about a jacket I found. (2 pages of rant later and I finally get there). Waist cut, denim, military style jacket, without being overly 'military' style. (who knew I was such a trendsetter in the early 90's with my Dad's Vietnam jacket) Very cool looking and would look good on stage. As Bronwyn and I were walking toward the section I saw it even before trying it on, I knew it was what I was looking for. I tried it on and it's friggin cool as hell and even makes me look cool as hell (well relatively speaking). Then I looked at the price tag. &%*#@ $149. $149 for what's basically a jean jacket, you have to be &%$#* kidding me! I just can't bring myself to spend that much on a jacket, I know I'm cheap, I know better fashion costs more, it just seems to high though. Which is where I'm at today thinking about that jacket and how I want it but don't want to fork over that much cash for it.
The good news is later that night I realized I had a $100 Macy's card through my credit card reward program that I just requested. With that, I can sort of justify the cost, although I still want to find something cheaper. It's a sickness, what can I say, I'm horrible about spending money on clothes. I find that when I buy stuff that looks good in the store there are many times where I don't love it as much when it's in my closet. Usually it's after a couple months, so it's not like I can take it back. Which is why I try and find sales and clearance stuff or shop at wholesalers. I can buy more and if I wind up not liking it I don't feel bad if I don't wear it.
Which means I'm currently waiting for my gift card, and having the internal struggle on whether or not to buy the jacket when said card arrives. Having to wait for a while isn't a bad thing though as it gives me a chance to scour the Internet for something comparable and hopefully cheaper. I'd post a picture of the jacket, but it seems to be too new for even Macy's website (I'm such a frigging trendsetter