Thursday, June 18, 2009

Understanding Self Part 1: Crap, infinity writing...

I was inspired to write today based on my friend's recent blog post. You can find her excellent blog here: http://strivingforradiosilence.wordpress.com/2009/06/16/whats-news/

It had me thinking about what life at 36 is really like. At least from the standpoint of understanding the way in which one defines one's self. So instead of hijacking her comments section with more discussion on it, I figured I'd put my thoughts down here.

"Defining one's self", if you've read my blog or know me personally, then it's no shock to you that this topic tends to be a bit of an obsession for me(go ahead laugh it was meant to be understated).

After thinking about what I wanted to write, I got through 2 hours of writing and realized that it was a dis-organized mess. One long ramble of non-associative points. It seems I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. And there are a lot of situations that I was using as reference, but they fit poorly together.

Since I can't seem to form my current thoughts into a coherent point, I'm going to break it up into individual points and hopefully let it come together as a series of posts.

*Update* I lied I thought I could break down the mess that I had wrote into shorter blocks, but in thinking about it. It's really just discussions of the same old thing. I'm half tempted to just delete this whole post, but for some reason I feel like leaving it up.

I guess the main theme I was going to drone on about was how interesting it is that at 36, how mentally I still feel 21 or 22 at times. In addition my self identity today, doesn't seem so close to what I thought I'd be at 36 when I was 22. As I started writing things down I realized that there are just to many good and bad points to the discrepancy to cover quickly. So you'll have to hold on for that discussion.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Everyone at one point and time feels that way! Life no matter how you look at it is balance. Our parents when the reached the 30 something's had the same issues, they either did something about it, or ultimately became who they are today....Retiree's or close to retiree's with remembrence how on to enjoy life. The easiest way is to stay young at heart and enjoy those times when you have the opportunity.

Michael said...

Thanks, I've definitely been coming to that conclusion, stay young at heart, mind my responsibilities and let the rest take care of itself. I am trying to at least keep an eye toward mental health in the coming years, as I don't want to regret not minding that store now when I'm thinking about it.