Wednesday, May 13, 2009

More thoughts on my little one.

Time for another update on my little one. We are about halfway through age 3 and she's slowly wearing down through the 'why' stage. On a daily basis she continues to amaze me in all that she learns and does. Plus she's become extremely loving, constantly giving kisses and hugs to Daddy (even at times without prompting, yay). She went through a long stage where kisses and hugs were definitely being in short supply.

I've briefly touched on her musical fascination in my note last Friday, in addition to that she loves to dance. I've now sat through "Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses" at least 50 times. And the dancing song runs through my head at least twice a week.

Bronwyn dances throughout most of the movie, she puts on her play ballet shoes and twirls around the room. I do wish we had a bit bigger room for her to dance in though, as while the room isn't small, her dexterity and grace at three years old resembles her father's (at any age). For a visual reference, think bull in a china shop.

Other current show and movie favorites are: Spongebob Squarepants, The Last Unicorn, Secret of Nimh, Lady and the Tramp, and Cars.

Laurie has remarked several times in the last month that she's definitely Daddy's little girl and I won't argue that point. I do wonder sometimes though whether my constant doting on her is good in the long run. I remember hearing someone talk at a party many years ago about his little girl. He was talking about how he and his wife were dead set against treating their little girl like a princess or letting her be referred to as one. He even mentioned how his daughter corrected people that suggested that she might be a Daddy's little princess. I found it an interesting concept, but not one I agree with (obviously).

While I can understand the strategy to raise a little girl and not want her to develop into a pretentious, coddled woman, I find it interesting that someone would want to totally fly against the typical desires of little girls. What I mean by that is while I certainly fawn and dote over my daughter, I try and encourage her interests, which just happen to focus on things girls like (princesses, babies, animals, etc) . I'd feel bad if I was discouraging her based on my own preconceived notions. Well at least intentionally discouraging her, I'm likely to do enough unintentional discouraging throughout her life. I got the impression from that conversation that they were intentionally discouraging thoughts and activities based on their own thoughts, which is every parent's right, I just found it a bit interesting. I do try and expose Bronwyn to non-stereotypical interests and if she finds something she likes I hope that someday it will provide her with a more balanced perspective. I'm just not sure I associate a child's interests with their behavior. I tend to associate bad adult behavior or attitudes on upbringing and discipline.

The other thing on my mind more and more with Bronwyn is her sensitivity. I constantly hear from people who are around her or babysit her on how well behaved she is. I have no doubt that this is true although the level of it compared to others is almost impossible for me to know. It's rare that we have to discipline Bronwyn, as a matter of fact she's a bit over-sensitive to criticism, which is my concern. She does step out of line like all children do, but it's rarely in an aggressive manner. Most of the time it's just something where she's working to extend her boundaries or playing in a position where she can get hurt. And usually we'll just ask her nicely the first time to not do that and she'll stop. Occasionally though she'll either forget(ignore) or we'll forget to ask nicely (usually due to our patience being used up for the day) and we'll raise our tone with her. About 75% of the time when that happens, Bronwyn will become completely quiet, and start trying to hold back the tears. Within a minute or two that fails and she'll start crying. I know that some of this is calculated on her part even at three, but I also know this feeling, as it's got a lot of similarities to me from my childhood(and her mother too actually). The crying doesn't bother me unless it's on those occasions where deep down I know I was being a bit too harsh on her due to my frustration levels and not her actions. I just need to remember that she's really a well behaved little girl (knock on wood) and try not and let life's regular frustration levels get to me in that I let it affect my way of handling her missteps. There is nothing wrong with disciplining her even if she gets upset about it, but I don't want her to become to overdeveloped in following the rules. Breaking or bending the rules once in a while can be a beneficial skill to have.

Well that's all I have for today on the little one, I did want to share this poem that someone special gave to me a little while back, whoever wrote it definitely captured the essence of a father/daughter relationship.

What is a daughter

She’s a joy she’s an angel’ well that’s what she thinks
She clings on to your heart like a plug to a sink
She drives you all crazy with make believe games
She’ll have you believe that fairies fly planes

She often comes in with imaginary friends
And can draw on their dads with permanent pens
She has pretty parties with dolls as her mates
But then runs straight out and she swings on the gate

She listens to stories of love and romance
Then shoves a live frog in her best friends pants
At night when asleep the angels go quiet
I often do think that she could start a riot

She looks like a princess all said and done
And Uses mums lipstick to draw a big sun
All over the walls and down the settee
Her face is alive and she giggles with glee

Its then that you have to be strong and quite firm
For if you stand back she will never quite learn
And learn things she does most every day
She learns how to get things her very own way

She came into your life and captured your heart
And then from that time you won’t stay apart
You may keep your son till he finds a good wife
But your daughter's your daughter for all of her life

No comments: