Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Bat shit crazy neighbors

One of the things I don't think you realize as a child, is just how many bat shit crazy neighbors you might have. Sure there's always the strange cat lady on a street in the neighborhood, or the father that wears no shirt 80% of the time, but I think we see it differently as adults.

I have 3 or 4 neighbors that might be able to star in their own reality show. My first one is an older gentlemen, maybe 45-55 range. We've dubbed him 'hillbilly', it's for reference purposes. Referred to as HB throughout the rest of the post. Anyway, once every other month or so, we'll see the cops show up at his house and they seem to be mediating a domestic dispute. In truth those incidents are pretty boring, as the most excitement that comes out of it is some drunken yelling and door slamming. No shirtless confrontation with the police or random appliances being thrown. Laurie and I do hum the theme from Cops though when we happen to be on the porch already and the police arrive. We are anticipating this has potential down the line.

So outside of the occasional domestic dispute call, HB has a basset hound that runs around the front yard (tied up), we were warned by neighbors when we moved in to not get close to him if we were walking in that area, as he bites, he's also a barker. He used to be outside all day, as evidenced by the large semi circle he's warn down in the grass. He's taken in at night so the barking not really an issue, but I do suspect that he's definitely a biter and most certainly aggressive. I have noticed the mailman will no longer deliver the mail to the house if the dog is out and have seen HB track the mailman down to get his mail.

This weekend the entertainment level went up a bit, Saturday night, we were sitting out on our porch chilling out, when we started hearing yelling and door slamming from HB's vicinity. Sure enough he was storming around perturbed about something. The best part came next when he started talking to the dog though and was advising the dog that he needed to guard the house while he was away. Now mind you this is 3-4 houses away on the other side of the street, for us to hear it, means it was fairly loud. Our guess is he was advising the dog to guard the house from new people that moved in across the street. HB's level of agitation has seemed to grow a bit lately which coincided with the new folks moving in. (pure guess here, not that it really matters anyway) Bottom line is, he was entrusting the security of his household with the 25lb basset hound.

Trusting the home security to the dog probably wouldn't have been enough for me to write about it, it's not that unusual for him. Yesterday though he continued to catch my attention, I was out on the porch on Monday having some coffee, when I started hearing loud booms. I looked over and saw HB kicking a trash can (it was garbage day). No big deal, it was probably in the street (it was windy) and I assumed he just wanted to kick it back to the tree lawn. Nope, once it reached the tree lawn he proceeded to kick this thing as hard as he could for at least another 5 minutes, covering at least 2 front yards in distance over that time. He then kicked the can back to the tree lawn, left it there, and walked back inside.

So that's the background on my first neighbor. I'm expecting more updates in the future and thought it would be nice to have some background.

Next up in the neighbors series will be the little old lady a couple houses down that I think has lost her mind. Animal lovers will probably not want to read about her, but I'll save that for another day.

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